2 Hours Post Election Results, Shadow Realizes He Was A Shadow (Poltucally Incorrect)

Sources report that Shammi Verma, shadow of Sameer Santosh, was spotted sneaking out of victory celebrations for a lonesome walk on the 2.2. Sameer is a winning candidate in the 2015 Gymkhana elections.

Not having another pair of legs to blindly follow, Verma stood completely disoriented for a while. Out of sheer confusion, he ended up doing a full split. Seven different contortions later, when he finally regained the ability to independently perform things, he walked to the lakeside.

Anant Mahal, a Lakeside regular testified to us, “We saw him toss a diary in the water while solemnly shouting the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody. We sensed something was suspicious when he did not gawk at us as he passed by.” Mahal soon had to leave as he was falling behind in some unspoken competition on the Lakeside.

When confronted about the reason, Verma admitted he was disconcerted by the fact that despite being the one who did most of the grunt work for his candidate, while the candidate’s newsfeed was filled with congratulatory messages, his own timeline was nothing but a series of Buzzfeed articles he had shared over the period of last two years.

‘It was finally sinking in. I was a shadow’ he said. We would have preferred if he had been blinking.

When asked to describe the shadow life, Verma drew a blank. He had already blocked out the memories. Cigarette smoke also triggered a panic attack from traumas of the shadow life.

“I wasn’t even friends with him”, Verma remarked about Sameer. “All I ever did was say ‘Hi’ to him if I ever ran into him on the way to the bathroom. We never even shared a table in the mess. It’s funny how a simple ‘Hi’ turns into ‘Hey, will you devote your entire life to me’ and you don’t even realise it”.

When asked to comment, Sameer said “If they were bright, they wouldn’t be called shadows.”

Verma decided to be a shadow when Ashwin Dhawan, Kharagpur’s most celebrated Funda Gawd, called Verma to his room and used the Stockholm Syndrome to manipulate him. Inadvertently.

Dhawan was not available for comment; his wingmates reported he had to wash his hockey stick.

Verma requested we refer to him by his first name in any article we publish.

He also made us promise that his story be given at least 500 words. Maybe the headline is not true after all. This piece is 411 words long.

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